It's Not Good For Man, Or Woman, To Be Alone

We were able to meet him in Memphis during his time away. 

I was a single mother for 14 weeks this year. Mr. had some training to complete for his position in the Reserves and we stayed put. I learned a lot during our hiatus as the picture-perfect family. First, I never want to be a single mother. Ever. Hats off to those who are. Whew.

With all I learned during this time, of course, I feel the need to share... and in no particular order...

Pick your battles- I quickly had to decide what was worth getting upset over. The answer, not much. These two chick-a-dees are learning how to handle their emotions, and if I fly off the handle that does not help their learning process. Are they tired, hungry, bored, missing Daddy, or are they testing me? What is the outcome that I want from this battle? Just plain ole' peace and quiet, or is it something that they need to pack in their suitcase? (There is a speaker or author somewhere that talks about "packing their suitcase". As a parent, you are teaching them things that they will "unpack" later in life. Give them items for their suitcase that equip them in adulthood, or young adulthood, to make wise decisions - without you.)

Pick your war stories- Whenever the kids, one or both, and I would have a row I would typically call or text Mr. and let him know all about it. I thought I was informing him of things he needed to know about our day. I did this before he left for training and continued while he was away. Then I realized that while he was away from home it might make him feel bad that I was having to deal "with all that" and he could not help. Then I realized that I really was just complaining and wanted him to see how difficult it was to be home with the kids all day. So, I don't share those moments anymore. He does not need to know one collapsed on the floor because the applesauce was not cold. I do share some of my war stories, but only well after the armistice is in place and the outcome can be put in their suitcase.

Legos replicate when left on the floor- They really do.

Families work better when Mom and Dad are together - I know not every family can do that. My dad died when I was eight. But as I compare our day-to-day before Mr. was gone, while he was gone, and after he returned, it does not take a brain surgeon to see that families just work better when both parents are in the same place. Different needs are met by one parent or the other. There are some things that dads do better, and some things that moms do better. Parents work together and focus on each others strengths to compensate for their own weaknesses. And it never fails, when the children are treading on my last nerve, his calmness regarding the situation saves the day; and visa versa.

God is good - All the time. There is no way I could have survived this separation all by my lonesome. There is no way I could have stayed sane the entire time; even though the last few weeks I cried at the drop of a hat. There is no way I could have kept our schedule reasonably the same. There is no way I could have bought a house- that's right, I bought a house. There is no way without God. 'Cause He was all I had. I knew that 14 weeks ago, I did- really. But I did not live like it because I did not have to. But when the big dog leaves the porch, you gotta be ready to run. I think almost hourly I said, "God I can't do this". And He would say, "You don't have to." I live like that now (I think). I live like God is all I have, because He is all I need. My parenting focus has shifted. I don't stress about how they act; I care about how they act, but I don't stress about it. I want them to know Jesus, to truly know him and how much he loves them. From there, the fruit will blossom and they will "act right". But when they don't, I remember that they are sinners in need of a savior, just like me. And just like me, we are all forgiven and washed clean. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 53: 11, "Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities. " God tells us throughout His word that He is all we need; He is our comforter, our ever present help, our healer, He takes our burdens and makes them His. All we have to do is let Him full fill His promises because He is faithful and He will do it.

How I felt when he came home.